My Love for Music

You know how some people usually stick to one genre of music, or listens to the “top hits” on the charts? Well, I was sitting here listening to Prince’s song “When Doves Cry” and I thought to myself, that I have a crazy mix of music that I love. 

I like the 80′s music, of course…everything 80′s, it doesn’t matter, just because it was my favorite decade and I loved everything about it all. The music though, I pretty much grew up listening to it, and Michael Jackson and Prince being my favorites to listen to of that time.

Then there is also my metal music, new and old. Metal is metal to me, no matter how hard or soft it is, as long as there is beautiful guitar riffs that makes my toes curl, I’m good.

I also enjoy dancing to industrial music, a newly discovered genre for me, but I fell in love with it immediatly. I always loved heavy beats, but I never found any music that had it, and once I found industrial music, I thought to  myself “There is the lost music I’ve been searching for all my life”. Combichrist being my favorite from this genre.

Then there is the music that would put most people to sleep, or totally bore them out completely…classical/orchestra/violin/piano music. Nothing helps soothe my nerves more than this music. I listen to it when I want to be relaxed, I’d love to take a nap to this music, but at the same time be completely aware of its beautiful sounds.

Also, I do have to mention my liking for Opera. I blame the play “Phantom of the Opera” for this one, also I put blame on Tarja Turunen (the most beautiful opera voice I’ve ever heard). If I could ever sing, I believe this would be the route I’d take. Besides, I can playfully pull of opera better than regular singing anyway.

Then, there is also my grunge 90′s music. You just can’t go wrong with some Nirvana. Kurt Cobain is the King of Grunge music. May that man rest in peace. The 90′s happen to be my second favorite decade, and not only because I grew up as a little kid in it, well maybe that is it, but still, I pretty much take that decade and live it in today’s world. Yeah, you have a problem with me dressing grunge? In plaid button up shirts, jeans and converse shoes? Do I see anyone else expressing the grunge style besides my cousin? No.

There is also Foreign music/bands that I happen to love. Just like these german guys who are in love with japanese culture, so therefore dresses the style and has stage names that sound japanese. I will not mention this band’s name, just because I’m a meanie.

Oh, and Lady Gaga. She doesn’t get a certain genre of music, she is of her own self. Nothing describes this lady’s music, she’s just weird and crazy on her own (and that is a compliment). I began loving her stuff because she is her own person and isn’t afraid to show her true weirdness.

Then there is the goth music. I’m not being stereotypical when I say this, but when I say goth music I mean it is very beautiful in a dark way. When I listen to this music, it makes me sink into this dark world of nothing but beauty and wander. My favorite band to listen to here has got to be between Sirenia and Nightwish.

Though, I bet some of you are wondering to yourselves “Where’s the country?” “Where’s the rap?” “Where’s the pop?”, you really want to know where those genres are? They’re in the trash. Why? Because they are too mainstream and there is nothing “cool” about them. That’s why I don’t really listen to 96.1 or anything like that. Because they play the same song over and over and they never play anything good. All the good music is looked upon as stupid, gay, loud, devil’s music or something of the sort. People are too stereotypical when it comes to good music. They just don’t sit and listen to what the great majority of the music has to offer. A great amount of them (if not all) have fantastic messages in them that gets you thinking. Unlike the regular messages everyone are used to hearing consisting of drugs, drinking, sex, or just plain stupidity. Now, don’t get me wrong, some rap songs and country songs have very good messages, but for one, I hate that kind of music and two, it’s way too mainstream.

Ignorance.

Geist.

I’m sitting here at the kitchen table thinking to myself…

“Ignorant people are ignorant”

School has been full of ignorance lately, as well as drama and stupidity, along with immaturity and let’s just say that the list goes on and on and on…

But that’s not my point. I just wish immature people would realize how stupid they’re acting and stop. I’m not getting into the reason why I’m posting about ignorance, because I decided to avoid all the drama. I just wish people would realize how ignorant they’re being and they really need to stop looking for the wrong kind of attention.

Oh…

AND STOP THE STUPID DRAMA VIA FACEBOOK…DO YOU REALIZE HOW STUPID THAT IS?!?!?!

Eh…

~another rant thread~

Boku Kara Kimi ga Kienai

Geist.

The urge overcomes my mind, as I wait upon my massive impatience for the appearance of Chapter 12. Oh, why must I wait on manga via online? I feel more comfortable reading from pages being held in the palms of my hands. I want to flip through the pages of Boku Kara Kimi ga Kienai and yet, the internet has failed me!!!

:’(

I wish to find out what happens next between Kousuke-kun and Hotaru!!! I believe that Haruna-Sensei should step out of the picture completely and leave Hotaru alone!!! I wish to find out!!!

 

 

Rant of the day. Ignore if you wish. XD

It’s About Time I Do Something!

Herz und Geist.

 

Teenage life, it’s supposed to be filled with fun, adventure, wonder and anything else a teen would say to describe such a time. Though, mine does not consist of such a description.

I’m almost eighteen years old, a senior in high school and near graduation…and all I can do is just think and use my head about what it’d be like to live life as a teen. I’m tired of just thinking about it though, I want to LIVE it. My kingdom for some fun.

I have a boyfriend that I want to see all the time, I have best friends that I want to have fun with, I have a life that I want to use. If only I could use it.

My friends would only tell me that I should stand up for what I believe in and do something about it. I believe that my parents would allow me to do things…if only I weren’t too afraid to ask. I’m always afraid to get the answer “no”, or “I’ll think about it”, “Maybe some other time”, or “Not until your eighteen”. I’ve been getting those answers since I entered my teenage years, I think it’s about time I stop hearing them. I want to be able to live a teenage life, before I’m off to college and then it’d be too late to do anything fun. Would it be wrong to say that to my parents? I hope not.

I have no idea why I’m sitting here spilling all this out. Honestly, I truly have nobody else I’d rather spill it out to. Well, I do…but…I choose not to. :/

I hate being told I’m doing something, I deny it, then later on I realize that I really do it. I guess I have to fight for what I want. If I want it bad enough, I’ll fight for it. I’m just tired of being a sheltered teenager, when I could be out there having fun.

I think it’s about time I start acting like a teenager. O_O

Rant thread of the day…

Listen To Me

Herz.

I sit here again, as you tell me how you feel. Within every pause you take, I feel even worse. You want me to tell you how I feel too, but when I do, your words get worse. You say that you don’t want to upset me because you love me, and you tell me to look past the fact that you’re angry; but how can I when the reason you’re upset is because of me?

We end the every night conversations like nothing had happened, but we both know that it will forever be on our minds. We exchange our “I love you”s and “Good night”s, but as soon as the call has ended, we go back to thinking. We tell each other that we’re okay, when we know good and well that we aren’t. We know that each other are lying, but we just leave the fact alone.

Our love is too strong a bound to break, that verbal exchange won’t change a thing. Our heart tells one tale, and our mind tells another, but our hearts’ word is always chosen over the other. I wish that we can look into the eyes of each other everyday, and I will exchange reason with those above me to have the ability to stand at your side.

I’m sorry for which I have caused, but I shall mend what I have nearly broken. Your love is mine forever to hold, and forever and ever we shall be.

Just listen to me.

Live Amongst The Dark

Geist.

Many people in today’s society have their own definitions of one being Goth or Gothic. In reality, there are many definitions of Goth. During the Medieval period is when the idea of Gothic came about through the architectural value of their cathedrals and churches, as well as paintings and art. People found such beauty amongst the dark value of the masterpieces. Also, during the Medieval time period is when chivalry and courtly love was extremely popular regarding to romance and love. In today’s society, people had taken that idea and turned it into a lifestyle.

Goth people not only wear black, but they have true belief and reason behind their everyday living. By wearing the black clothing, they are resembling the Gothic art of the Medieval period and referring to how the darkness was so beautiful. These people want to stand out, and they want to their message to be spread among the living day society. Gothic people are believed to be very cruel and demeaning people, one who worships the devil and one who engages in spiritual or magic practices. Though that is not the case for all Gothic people. Religion does not play a part in Gothic way of life. Gothic people practice a list of different religions such as, Christianity, Satanism, Agnosticism, Atheism, Catholic, etc. There are many religions they practice and not all Goths worship the devil or engage in witchcraft which people in today’s society stereotype them of being like.

Young people today take the idea of Gothic for granted. They become amazed with how they look, they never actually dig beyond the black clothing and find out how being a Goth really is. Young people will just throw on black clothing and automatically self-proclaim themselves as Gothic, when in all reality they are posing. They do not know the aspect of being a Gothic person. There is much more to learn to live the Gothic way of life, and it is much more than the black clothes and pale makeup.

Gothic people are believed to listen to really strange music when that is not the case either. People stereotype themselves by the music they listen to when that should not be the case at all. For example, just because you listen to depressing music doesn’t necessarily mean you are “emo” or just because you listen to country music doesn’t necessarily make you a “redneck”. People stereotype themselves with the music they listen to all the time, and they do not believe anything else would give them such a name. Then again, stereotypes such as these does not belong in the same category as Gothic lifestyle. Gothic is a totally different story than those of being “emo” or “redneck”. Those are true stereotypes, but Gothic is a way of life. It does not serve as a label, because Gothic lifestyle has been around decades before other “labels” have. Gothic lifestyle was founded during the Medieval period when that of a “emo” was founded in the 2000′s, borrowed from other labels created during the 80′s, when – on the other hand, Gothic was not borrowed from anything. It was merely created for a lifestyle, and art. Nothing is borrowed from that.

I just thought I’d express my thoughts and feelings about being Goth. I, on the other hand, do not self-proclaim myself as Goth, though I do believe in their way of life and do practice it. I believe Gothic people as well as art, are beautiful; and I will always believe in their everyday lives and their meaning.

From Mortal Love

I thought this was so beautifully spoken as I listen to this wonderful song.

We have touched for the last time
You are long gone, in love with someone else
I now fear nothing but life itself
And I have learned that living is just a slow way to die
I do not believe in life or in love anymore
The joy I feel are the joys of emptiness
I hate myself for loving you
The fear I feel night after night has developed into a disease
No one can see the emptiness in my eyes
To escape life itself now seems the only solution
With relief I look forward of letting go of the pain
Finally, there is peace in my soul
To lie dead without a concern, without a tear,
You own my heart
And life without you is so imensly painful
Just to think of you, talk about you, dream of you makes tears stream down my face
I cannot imagine happiness without your beautiful smile, your angelic face,
your wonderful body and your good heart
You are everything, I am nothing
I want to die
But really, I am already dead…

Under the Dark

Geist und Herz.

It’s always the excuses of worship of another being. A being known to man and hated by many, a being that several know is there. A being I know is there, though I do not worship upon. Accusations are made left and right upon those who express darkness. The touch of black upon your skin causes millions of fingers to point in your direction. A judgment made under the ‘so-called’ idea of true religion, blasphemy to us all. Thou shalt not judge, as I point my finger back, and laugh at the ridiculous judgmental value of your ‘so-called’ religion that is not true. Laughter surrounds me as humans peer upon the black clothes I wear on my skin. The dark circles around my eyes and the blackness painted onto my fingernails, many don’t understand why I’ve walked in this direction. I’ve left the world of normality long ago, as I do not believe in becoming one with others whom are all the same. I walk along the path into the forest as many take the road to the light. I pass only one being like me within every hour. A slight smile is exchanged between the dark beings and has yet again disappeared from the pale faces of both, and we continue to walk alone. We do not walk hand in hand, as we are unlike others of our kind. We dislike the following of others, as every darkling is their own being. The black tears roll down our faces as we walk along fallen leaves. No other will look beyond our shell, because of the fear of our person. Others see the darkness beyond our soul and they all walk away, leaving us cold. The darklings yearn for the understanding of their being. Though we’re never touched. Understanding is passed beyond the tiny atmosphere of another’s mind, only they understand. Religious humans will believe as they will, and judge as always. Though that does not stop the darklings of expressing the beauty of the night.

We lay among the silver meadow as we ponder at our mother Moon. She stares down upon us and smiles at her children. Proud she is, as the goddess of night, caresses her children in her arms. She makes us joins hands with others of our kind, brothers and sisters we are of the night. Nobody will understand the beauty under the dark, but our mother Moon, sweet goddess of the night, will always love us as we are. Forever in her arms, we lay as one. Closing our dark shadowed eyes as we sleep for eternity, never to wake until the day the moon rises forever, and we’ll walk among our goddess’ light, hand in hand with our kind, love and be loved forever and ever. As we erase the memories of thou whom judged us for being an ill disease thou never wanted to touch. Thou shalt be known that the beauty of darkness lives longer than that of the light. We will walk forever and shine like silver under the real light of our mother. Forever we live life as thou should.

I was inspired to write this story as I sat here listening to the beautiful goth music, that which soothes me. I wrote this for myself and my friends who believe strongly with these words, as we’ll forever walk in the darkness, forever alive, forever together, forever upon our beautiful night.

A Night’s Letter

My Dearest Night,

We meet again on this wonderous hour. The stars shine above all as the moon glows, lighting up the darkness. I dance underneath you with a smile on my face as my dark hair sways back and fourth. I lay my head onto the fluffy-ness of my pillow with your warmth draped around my body. You soothe me and make me feel calm. The quietness sings into my ear as I dream of dancing beneath you. I throw my arms out and I reach for the stars. The crickets sing their sweet lullaby as the wind whispers it’s secret. Your reflection glitters in my eyes. I breath in your sweet smell, sweet and tranquil. It’s that time once again to close my eyes and dream of you. The night I love.

A Champion of the Heart

Herz.

There is this guy I love with all my heart and soul,

he breathes for me and cares for me,

and I shall not let him go.

He is always there and he always cares,

with all the heart he’s got,

all the love that he shares,

my stomach ties in knots.

I love him dearly,

with all my heart,

knew it always from the start.

A Champion of the heart,

has mine forever,

and ever will be,

never be torn apart.